It just got real!

     On Tuesday I had my first surgeon consultation for Weight Loss Surgery (WLS).   I wasn't really sure what to expect.  Nevertheless, I was excited and nervous at the same time.  I had already done most of the paperwork in December and had been to two classes and a seminar, so they had quite a bit of info on me.   The appointment didn't last long...but it came with a bang!
     First I met with the PA and she took some history on me and questions about my cravings, workout habits, etc.   She was super nice.   Then I got to meet with the surgeon.  I had met him at the seminar and talked to him for a few minutes.   There are three surgeons at Rex and all seemed really good and knowledgeable.   I didn't really have a preference of who I met with.  When I scheduled my appointment, I went with the first available, Dr. Sharp.   He was easy to talk to and made me feel comfortable.   Plus, he went to Duke University...LOL     We can't go wrong there right?   
     After speaking with him a few moments he recommended the Duodenal_switch.   He said with my age and BMI (which is over 50 :( ) that this is the best option for me.  His PA said the same thing.  Luckily at the seminar they covered all the types of surgeries, so I knew what was involved.   They are the specialist, so I trust their decision.   
     I mentioned when I would like to have it done, so we both get our calendars out and see what is compatible for us.   Tentatively my surgery will be early April.  
     That being said......I have four weeks to get all of my preliminary testing completed by February 28th (my next doctor appointment).  This includes:

• gallbladder ultrasound
• sleep study
• endoscopy
• lab work
• psych eval
• 2 more educational classes

Praise the Lord...I was able to get it all scheduled and only have to miss 2 days of work for it.   Those days will be busy days....but it has to be done.   

     When I left the doctor's office reality really set it in and I was like...Whoa...this just got real!  Tons of butterflies starting forming and swarming in my stomach.   I know in my heart this is the right decision but it is a major surgery.     I can't wait to see what the future holds and being successful.   I appreciate all the support I've received so far and covet your prayers and support as this journey continues.  

The scale does not define you

I have been struggling with the scale for quite some time.  I'm not sure why I put so much value in whether the number is up or down each week but for some reason I do.
I would get on the scale a certain day of each week eagerly anticipating the number to be drastically lower, only to be sadly disappointed.  I had eaten well, tracked my food, and exercised. The scale number was my only focus.
Over the course of the past month I have been able to wear a size smaller pants, rings and bracelets are looser, I have more stamina and can do much more exercise. Why didn't I let those fuel my motivation? 
I've only lost 2 lbs this month but I've also lost 10 inches.  I can't let the scale define my weight loss journey anymore. I have to consider many more factors like:
Looser clothes
Wearing smaller size clothes
People telling me I've lost weight or look smaller
Feeling healthier
And so many more

I will continue to weigh myself each week but want let it determine my path to weight loss anymore.  Eating right, exercising,  and following my plan is what I will do.

I define my succes....not the scale! 

Good Enough is the new perfect!

Provided by: Holley Gerth

I don't know about you, but I'm constantly striving to be perfect.  To honest, I'm quite tired of it.   IT'S EXHAUSTING!  In my mind perfect is getting it right the first time, getting it done before anyone else, and having results NOW!  

Let's just face it, I've been living in a fantasy world.  It's time to face reality!

Luckily over the past couple of weeks, I've had a few experiences that have helped me open my eyes and realize that I'm good enough.  I don't know if you remember the SNL skit, but right now in my head (and imaginary mirror) I'm saying, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dag on it people like me".  I thought I had to be perfect in order to be liked.  

Two weekends ago, I had the wonderful opportunity to spend the weekend with some wonderful, like minded ladies (more like sisters).   During the course I learned that I can acheive my dreams and I'm capable of more than I dreamed.  However, if I slip up along the way, it's ok.  I'm still good enough.  

In the past, if I didn't reach perfection for whatever reason, I would self sabotage. This was most evident in my healthy eating journey.  While I had great highs socially and in other areas, I was in valleys with my eating.  Some weekends I didn't have choices in my food, one week I was off work and my routine was all messed up.  I started making excuses and was like, "Since I've already eaten poorly, I might as well keep on."  BAD THINKING....I know!  It's what I do.  I'm an emotional eater, and don't do well with "social" eating.  If I'm in company and there's food, I want to eat it.  So for the past month, I've been in a constant battle with weight and food.  

Through this battle, I've learned a few things:

1) Give yourself grace.   It's okay if you don't get it right.  Learn from it, don't do it again, and get yourself together and move on.

2) Don't have a pity party.  Realize you messed up, fix it, and do it right from then on out.  If you had one bad meal, don't continue with more bad meals.  Exercise afterwards, eat right the rest of the day.   

3) Comparison is the thief of joy! Don't compare your journey to others'.  You will get where you need to be when God wants you to.  You will have to do the work in order to get there, but there is a reason it's not happening in the time frame you want it to.   IT WILL HAPPEN, just not at the same pace as the girl/guy next to you.  If you  focus on their journey instead of yours, you will MISS A WHOLE LOT!  

Opening the Door to your God Sized Dream

This is a book I've been reading for a couple of weeks.  I do one chapter a night before bed. It has really helped me understand what my dream is for my life, and that I have to rely on God for it all.  I can't do it on my own.   I highly recommend it!  

Keep your head up and remember, you're good enough!