I haven't always been a heavy girl, but I've always been an unmotivated girl when it came to being active. I was always told to clean my plate, and food was given to me as a comfort for anything. It was my mom's way of showing love. I totally get it.
When I was 11 I broke my ankle and had to have surgery to fix it. Ever since then, I've packed on the pounds. I was still a happy child and teenager, most of the time. Through out school I was picked on terribly about my size and weight, and it wasn't just the kids. Those words, remarks, giggles, nicknames have left deep scars in my soul, that to this day have not healed yet.
Being a heavy girl has wreaked havoc on my self-esteem, as I'm sure a lot of you can relate. Of course, because of the scars...where did I turn....FOOD! It was a vicious cycle. I felt sorry for myself, so I ate, then I was mad that I had eaten, so I ate, and so on and so on. It lasted for years.
My eyes were finally opened when my dad had a heart attack a few years back. I knew I didn't want to be his age and in the same shape as him. I worked hard and lost about 20 lbs with counting calories and exercising regularly. Then I would get busy, distracted, and make excuses and end up back in the same boat of being inactive and eating whatever I wanted and however much of it I wanted.
In October of 2014, I was introduced to a new program....21 day fix. I liked the sound of it and what it did. I needed a swift kick in the pants to get on track and do what I needed to do. This program taught me portion control. I didn't have to eat 3 huge meals a day to keep me satisfied, but instead eat 5-6 small meals throughout the day. I don't binge eat like I used to. It also taught me that there are TONS of food I can eat and that are good for me and TASTE GOOD! This program came with so much more though. I had an accountability group (still do) that was the rock of my success. Without my coach and people in my group, I couldn't have done it. Knowing there were people in the same boat as me and cheering for my success was the key to what I was missing all along. Before, I tried to do it on my own and I just couldn't.
This has not only been a physical journey but a spiritual one as well. My relationship with Christ has grown and changed for the better. It is Him who I put my trust in to be who I need to be. I want my body to be a temple for Him and serve Him. It is all His Glory that I am who I am and have done what I've done. He has shown my that I can do anything as long as I believe and let Him guide me through it. Prayer has been key. When I'm down, I pray, when I succeed, I praise.
Am I where I need to be? NOOOO! Will I get there? YES!!!
Thank you for taking the time to read my journey. If you are on a similar one, I would love to chat with you or support you. If you haven't started yet, but want to, I'm here for you.
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