The Journey of a Thousand Miles Begins with a Single Step

             

   I guess you could say that I've been stretching for the past couple of months to take this first step.   In late October I heard a still, small voice tell me that it was time to consider gastric bypass surgery.   I had tried to lose weight different times, had small success, but then gained it all back.   It was a battle I was tired of losing.  For so long, I had been opposed to surgery for different reasons, but I couldn't argue with that still small voice.   I prayed, sought council, and asked others for prayer.  Usually, I act quickly once I've made a decision, but not this time, probably because it wasn't my decision to be made, it had to be God's will.

       One reason I was scared to get the surgery is having the excess skin after losing so much weight. I didn't want to go from being insecure because of being overweight to being insecure because of saggy skin.  Was one trade off for another worth it? Also, I didn't want my future husband to see my excess skin....vain I know...but I think understandable.  

      I had also seen others who had had the surgery suffer from complications leading them back into the hospital for periods of time.   I want a surgery that makes me well..not sicker.  This might be my biggest fear....I despise being sick on my stomach.  

       Yesterday, I went to an information seminar at Rex in Raleigh after speaking with my family doctor about options.   It was very informational and was also comforting to see other people "like me"  there.   Suddenly, I didn't feel like I was in this battle alone.  The doctors were genuine and sincere and you could tell they were there to help, not condemn.  Thankfully, when I left I had a great peace about me instead of worry.   When that voice spoke to me, I never worried, I have always felt peace.  As of today, I will be moving forward with the steps to begin this journey.   I don't know how long it will take or when the surgery will happen.  

    Sharing this is scary because there are so many opinions and myths  about bariatric surgery.  I don't see this as an easy way out.  It will be very hard learning how to eat in a whole new way, not being able to eat the portions I normally do, being on a liquid diet for 2 weeks among other things.  

     Regardless of what you think, obesity is an illness and there isn't a one size fits all way of fixing it. You can't just say, "Eat right, and exercise and you'll lose".   Only 15% of those that do it are successful.  Sadly, I'm not in that 15%.  I do wish I was!   

     I hope to document my journey, the good, the bad, and the ugly.   I believe this will be theraputic and help keep me accountable.   

    I covet your prayers more than anything.  As I've said, this is scary.   If you have negative thoughts or comments, please keep them to yourself.   I'll take advice, past experience, and any encouragement you can give.  

Come...follow me along my journey!